College Lesson Learned #49

#49- A free meal is always a good meal. 

Beggars can't be choosers, but to a college student, anything but cafeteria food is probably the best thing that every happened. It doesn't even have to be great food. If its edible and different and not the same old, then it will be scarfed down faster than a fat kid eating a twinkie (may you rest in peace).

This is why students love going home for breaks. Especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Turkey, ham, mash potatoes, and all that other stuff! Oh my goodness, I'm getting fatter just thinking about it. Probably one of the hardest transitions from high school to college was not getting six square meals a day, and none of the few we get are home-made. It kills me because my mom is a wizard in the kitchen. It's not even fair to whoever my future wife will be (unless of course I cook... we'll see). 

While you're at school, in order to get a decent meal you must go off-campus and pay money for it (with a few exceptions like Rush but we'll get to that in the College Lesson Learned 90's). So going home is the best time to capitalize on the delicious wonderfulness that is love.

Moral: You can't go home every day unless you commute, so when free food comes around, GET IT!

College Lesson Learned #48

#48- New Year’s Resolutions don’t actually start until you’re back at school. Fact.

During Christmas break, everyone is debating what their New Year Resolution will be. Will I spend more time with my family, eat healthier, lose a certain amount of weight, drink less (or start to drink... I've heard it before), build a car? etc. The list goes on forever. For most people, New Year's Resolutions start January 1st. However, once again we find the college age group, mainly 18-24 year old young adults an exception. Why do they get special treatment? I'm glad you asked! Here are a number of reasons why the New Year Resolution doesn't start until their semester starts:

1) We're young. WE DO WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE WANT! Period.

2) Many NYR's involve an increase in physical activity: get in shape, lose weight, bench a small elephant etc. These goals involve having access to a facility in which we could actually work out. Most students I know, either a) would prefer their university's fitness or recreation center or b) don't have a membership or a means at home. Therefore life is difficult for these individuals.

3) We at an age in which we prefer non-conformity and rebellion, not the "stereotypical" lifestyle, ha! WE DO WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE WANT! Period.

4) Some of our friends at school have similar or even the same goals so they become an accountability partner of sorts.

5) Laziness. We is lazy. To be honest, we wouldn't be college students if we didn't procrastinate.

Moral: College students don't actually have NYRs. We have NSR or New Semester Resolutions by default. This once again proves that WE DO WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE WANT! College students 1- rest of American society- 0.

College Lesson Learned #47

#47- Floor meetings are pointless. End of story.

So as a freshmen living in the dorms, you may not know what you can or cannot get away with. With that being said, I am here to help you. Sit down and listen children:

Floor meetings- Stupid. The only one that you SHOULD go to is the first floor meeting on move-in day. Meet some people, make some friends, learn who to avoid (see previous CLL), and meet your RA. 

Note: Be friends with your RA. Good things will happen, and you can get away with much more... Unless your RA sucks and doesn't do his/her job, then you can get away with murder.

Back to floor meetings. Avoid them, make sure that you "have a night class" every time that you have a floor meeting. Go play basketball. Do not be present, and here's why:

They are a waste of time. They are always at the most inconvenient time, and they start ten minutes late.They start late because the RLC takes his sweet time and then talks with the awkward kid who is freaking out because he thinks everyone is in trouble, then realizes three quarters of the floor aren't in attendance. Then the RA's have to go upstairs to knock on people's doors and yell to get everyone downstairs. 

After that, the RLC takes attendance. After what feels like two hours because everyone is messing with the RLC, we continue on to his 90 second announcement which would've taken him just as much time to send via e-mail. Then the RA's give their "update and announcements" which take half the time as the RLC. The three minute meeting is over. If you miss, the RLC sends you an email anyway.

I'm not bitter about people wasting my time or anything...

Moral: Don't waste your time.

College Lesson Learned #46

#46- The friends that you make in the first week or two of school are the best friends one could ask for.

Cliché is one way to describe this statement. Truthful is another, and equally as fitting. I could actually a write a full novel (strangely compelling...) on just this College Lesson Learned, but I'll spare you the agony... for now.

So in the weeks leading up to school, almost everyone that I know kept telling me, "The friends that you make will be the best friends for the next few years." Whatever, if you say so. Well I'm here to tell you... it's true. You're stuck with them.

My first night at school, not really knowing anyone, my roommate and I went to make new friends. We talked with a few people and by the end of the night, there were five guys sitting in my room. A violinist, Terry, an organist, my roommate, Terry (who we all thought was strange initially. We still do, but for different reasons), and myself. An interesting bunch would be a major understatement. This group of guys, has been the source of much laughter and pain, the pain of which usually originating from laughter, since that first night. 

My other good friends, I met in the lounge with these five guys, yet these were of the feminine species; three to be exact. These three girls with a few of their friends too, would eventually be known my sophomore year as "The Girls." They keep my life interesting and exciting.

Now you probably wanna know why they are the best friends a guy could ask for, and I don't blame you. Just keep reading my blog. I will say this though; I said that they are the best FRIENDS a guy could ask for, not the best PEOPLE, and I will explain why:

My friends are great, and they are great people. But we mess with each other. A LOT. Especially Morgan the Organist, Terry, and me. We have fun with each other. My best friend from home came and visited me at school with two of his friends (another good story for another time). We had a great time and they left. Two days later I found a pair of green underpants. Now worried that my friend's friends had possibly lost their undergarments, I called him and sent him a picture to see to whom they belong. It wasn't any of theirs. After washing them twice (yes twice), I searched desperately for the owner of these missing undergarments. 

The mystery of the lost briefs was never solved... however...

It opened up the door for exciting opportunities to mess with Morgan. So one night, while he was gone, I snuck into his room and hid the boxers under his pillow. The match had begun. Two days later I found it in my desk drawer. It went back and forth repeatedly, until one day, I come back into my room and Morgan is chilling on my bed with my roommate and Terry. Morgan smirks at me and says, "I hid it REALLY well. You won't find it for at least a month." This is the end of September, beginning of October, and I could NOT find it. 

The last weekend before Christmas break, I decide to make some hot chocolate for a few guests. I pull out my hot pan and take it over to the sink. I open it up to find green undergarments staring up at me. It took about two and a half months to find it. I had almost forgotten about it. I am pleased to say it took Morgan almost the same span of time to find it next. We still continue to play this game.

Some of you may be confused as to why I chose this story to explain our friendship, but it is very fitting. I am a firm believer in the ancient Chinese proverb, "A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend(s) will be sitting next to you in jail saying, 'Man, that was some f*cked up sh*t." (I'll get to the illegal friendship bonding activities later).

Moral: Be patient with the weirdos you meet (and be okay with the fact that you may be one of them), because weirdos are the best kind of friends.

College Lesson Learned #45

#45- Nobody warns you that the week before finals is actually WORSE than final week.

People have a tendency to tell some false stories. I’ve been told by many people that finals are terrible and they are the worst thing in the world and all that jazz. Whether intentional or not, they lied.

What many people don’t understand is that the week before is much, much worse than the previous week by far. The week prior to finals I like to call Silent Week. It is the week in which almost all of campus shuts down and the library reaches maximum capacity. Not a sound can be heard in the dorms and everyone looks at you in the library if you inhale too loudly. People disappear and you aren’t sure if they’re even still alive or if they have a toothbrush and a shower in the computer labs.

Why is this? I’m glad you asked.

This occurs because of procrastination and poor planning (on both the professor and students’ part). This week is the week that all your portfolios, term papers, and projects are due. All your professors think that they are the only professor with which you are taking a class.

Let’s do the math: let’s say you’re taking about 16 credits, which is more or less 4-5 classes. So let’s say that in each class you may have at least one term paper, portfolio, or semester project. If you’re writing a term paper, that’s probably 8-15 page paper in which you have to research, write, and edit before that day. A portfolio, being a collection of your works from over the semester, may only require one new work, probably under five pages, but you have to edit everything from the semester on top of that. As far as projects go, I’m not an engineering or science major of any sort, so I won’t pretend I know anything of that sort, but I can imagine it’ll be hard.

So with all that work, those large portions of your grade are usually due on the last day of actual classes. Now most classes meet either twice or three times a week, making most to all of your work due in two days. That’s a lot of work in a short amount of time, especially if you’re a procrastinator like me.

Then after you turn all of that in, all there is left to do is study for finals. Finals week isn’t too exciting. People kind of just sit around. Nothing happens.

Moral: Finals week > Silent Week

College Lesson Learned #44

#44- Come up with some tricks other than caffeine when staying up late. You’ll need it eventually.

Despite what people might actually think, staying up late is a science and not an art. If anyone ever says differently, tell them that they’re wrong… respectfully. I don’t want no fights.

So why is it a science and not an art? Good question. Let me briefly explain.

Art is a form of expression, communication, and possibly a way of life. Although some may say that staying up late is a way of life for college students, the evidence is clear that this is a science. Science pertains to the laws of nature, human physiology, and has a clear and concise way of replicated testing. In fact, if you disagree, try out my steps to not sleeping and see if they work. And if you agree, well then hopefully I’ve presented some new data that you can use for your own trials.

Step  1- Have a drink

No alcohol. Not what I mean. You should have a drink no matter what it is. I do highly recommend, fizzy, bubbly, and/or drinks that are absolutely loaded with caffeine, but water will also work. Also make sure that you have A LOT of it so that you will have to get out of your seat to either refill or to grab another. Motion is the key. If you want to further improve results, put your beverage into a smaller glass or cup.

Step 2- Eat some food

This is where the freshmen fifteen comes into play. Don’t eat something heart like a bowl of soup or a turkey sandwich, have something unhealthy, sugary, and/or spicy. Chocolate, a favorite candy, or some form of potato chips will suffice. Jalapeno cheddar Cheetos on average yield the best results.

Step 3- Work in a quiet place with SOME distractions

I never liked working at the library, it just never seemed to do it for me. I would work in my room, but I would leave the door open, inviting people that I possibly didn’t want, walking into the room. If every so often you have the loud person playing Rock Band or Call of Duty, or a stranger walking into your room, hey it kept you up didn’t it?

                Sub-step 3a- If you are an auditory learner, one who likes to listen to music while you work, please do so. However, make sure that you pick loud songs that get the bass and your heart pumping. Pretty much any guitar hero song will do the job.

Step 4- Take breaks to move

Get up and walk around. Slap yourself in the face. Do whatever it takes to stay physically active.

Step 5- Take a shower if after 2am.

I am a strong believer in the belief that nothing good happens after 2 am… with the exception of a shower. Showers are a sure way to make sure that life is good, you’re alive, and to rejuvenate and reawaken from the monotonous tapping of a laptop or the scratch of a pencil on paper.

I guarantee that these five steps will make your life easier when staying up and doing that paper that you had two-ten weeks to do, yet you never have time until the night before to do.

Moral: Staying up late is what cool kids do.

College Lesson Learned #43

#43- Don’t take junior/senior level courses your first semester as a freshmen.

This is another time when I can say that you should learn from my mistakes.

It all started at freshmen orientation. We were picking classes for the upcoming semester, my first semester at the collegiate level. They had four orientations and I was at the last one before school. My last name is Schroeder and like everything in life they were picking classes alphabetically by last name.

So let’s break it down: I’m a freshman- sophomores-grad students have already picked their classes, I was at the last orientation before school, and I have last pick because of my last name. All my classes were taken.

So not off to a good start. At the time I was a history and education double major. I had a meeting with my advisor and it turns out my advisor wasn’t there. There was another professor in his stead. I met with him and he suggested that I take at least one history class so I don’t fall behind. However, we took a look at the class list and all of my prerequisites were completely filled. He mentioned a good class that was a higher level, but not overly difficult called “The History of South Africa and Namibia.” Sounds interesting, right? So I signed up.

The first day of class I walked in and there were eleven students and only one of those being a freshman other than myself and also one grad student. I looked up to see the professor who recommended the class sitting in the front of the room.

The professor stood up at the start of class and said “Welcome to History 371, The History of South Africa and Namibia.”

That’s when I stopped sleeping at night.

Moral: I thoroughly enjoyed the class, and so if there is a professor that you REALLY like, take a class no matter what it is just to have him or her as your teacher.