College Lesson Learned #49

#49- A free meal is always a good meal. 

Beggars can't be choosers, but to a college student, anything but cafeteria food is probably the best thing that every happened. It doesn't even have to be great food. If its edible and different and not the same old, then it will be scarfed down faster than a fat kid eating a twinkie (may you rest in peace).

This is why students love going home for breaks. Especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Turkey, ham, mash potatoes, and all that other stuff! Oh my goodness, I'm getting fatter just thinking about it. Probably one of the hardest transitions from high school to college was not getting six square meals a day, and none of the few we get are home-made. It kills me because my mom is a wizard in the kitchen. It's not even fair to whoever my future wife will be (unless of course I cook... we'll see). 

While you're at school, in order to get a decent meal you must go off-campus and pay money for it (with a few exceptions like Rush but we'll get to that in the College Lesson Learned 90's). So going home is the best time to capitalize on the delicious wonderfulness that is love.

Moral: You can't go home every day unless you commute, so when free food comes around, GET IT!

College Lesson Learned #48

#48- New Year’s Resolutions don’t actually start until you’re back at school. Fact.

During Christmas break, everyone is debating what their New Year Resolution will be. Will I spend more time with my family, eat healthier, lose a certain amount of weight, drink less (or start to drink... I've heard it before), build a car? etc. The list goes on forever. For most people, New Year's Resolutions start January 1st. However, once again we find the college age group, mainly 18-24 year old young adults an exception. Why do they get special treatment? I'm glad you asked! Here are a number of reasons why the New Year Resolution doesn't start until their semester starts:

1) We're young. WE DO WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE WANT! Period.

2) Many NYR's involve an increase in physical activity: get in shape, lose weight, bench a small elephant etc. These goals involve having access to a facility in which we could actually work out. Most students I know, either a) would prefer their university's fitness or recreation center or b) don't have a membership or a means at home. Therefore life is difficult for these individuals.

3) We at an age in which we prefer non-conformity and rebellion, not the "stereotypical" lifestyle, ha! WE DO WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE WANT! Period.

4) Some of our friends at school have similar or even the same goals so they become an accountability partner of sorts.

5) Laziness. We is lazy. To be honest, we wouldn't be college students if we didn't procrastinate.

Moral: College students don't actually have NYRs. We have NSR or New Semester Resolutions by default. This once again proves that WE DO WHAT WE WANT WHEN WE WANT! College students 1- rest of American society- 0.

College Lesson Learned #47

#47- Floor meetings are pointless. End of story.

So as a freshmen living in the dorms, you may not know what you can or cannot get away with. With that being said, I am here to help you. Sit down and listen children:

Floor meetings- Stupid. The only one that you SHOULD go to is the first floor meeting on move-in day. Meet some people, make some friends, learn who to avoid (see previous CLL), and meet your RA. 

Note: Be friends with your RA. Good things will happen, and you can get away with much more... Unless your RA sucks and doesn't do his/her job, then you can get away with murder.

Back to floor meetings. Avoid them, make sure that you "have a night class" every time that you have a floor meeting. Go play basketball. Do not be present, and here's why:

They are a waste of time. They are always at the most inconvenient time, and they start ten minutes late.They start late because the RLC takes his sweet time and then talks with the awkward kid who is freaking out because he thinks everyone is in trouble, then realizes three quarters of the floor aren't in attendance. Then the RA's have to go upstairs to knock on people's doors and yell to get everyone downstairs. 

After that, the RLC takes attendance. After what feels like two hours because everyone is messing with the RLC, we continue on to his 90 second announcement which would've taken him just as much time to send via e-mail. Then the RA's give their "update and announcements" which take half the time as the RLC. The three minute meeting is over. If you miss, the RLC sends you an email anyway.

I'm not bitter about people wasting my time or anything...

Moral: Don't waste your time.

College Lesson Learned #46

#46- The friends that you make in the first week or two of school are the best friends one could ask for.

Cliché is one way to describe this statement. Truthful is another, and equally as fitting. I could actually a write a full novel (strangely compelling...) on just this College Lesson Learned, but I'll spare you the agony... for now.

So in the weeks leading up to school, almost everyone that I know kept telling me, "The friends that you make will be the best friends for the next few years." Whatever, if you say so. Well I'm here to tell you... it's true. You're stuck with them.

My first night at school, not really knowing anyone, my roommate and I went to make new friends. We talked with a few people and by the end of the night, there were five guys sitting in my room. A violinist, Terry, an organist, my roommate, Terry (who we all thought was strange initially. We still do, but for different reasons), and myself. An interesting bunch would be a major understatement. This group of guys, has been the source of much laughter and pain, the pain of which usually originating from laughter, since that first night. 

My other good friends, I met in the lounge with these five guys, yet these were of the feminine species; three to be exact. These three girls with a few of their friends too, would eventually be known my sophomore year as "The Girls." They keep my life interesting and exciting.

Now you probably wanna know why they are the best friends a guy could ask for, and I don't blame you. Just keep reading my blog. I will say this though; I said that they are the best FRIENDS a guy could ask for, not the best PEOPLE, and I will explain why:

My friends are great, and they are great people. But we mess with each other. A LOT. Especially Morgan the Organist, Terry, and me. We have fun with each other. My best friend from home came and visited me at school with two of his friends (another good story for another time). We had a great time and they left. Two days later I found a pair of green underpants. Now worried that my friend's friends had possibly lost their undergarments, I called him and sent him a picture to see to whom they belong. It wasn't any of theirs. After washing them twice (yes twice), I searched desperately for the owner of these missing undergarments. 

The mystery of the lost briefs was never solved... however...

It opened up the door for exciting opportunities to mess with Morgan. So one night, while he was gone, I snuck into his room and hid the boxers under his pillow. The match had begun. Two days later I found it in my desk drawer. It went back and forth repeatedly, until one day, I come back into my room and Morgan is chilling on my bed with my roommate and Terry. Morgan smirks at me and says, "I hid it REALLY well. You won't find it for at least a month." This is the end of September, beginning of October, and I could NOT find it. 

The last weekend before Christmas break, I decide to make some hot chocolate for a few guests. I pull out my hot pan and take it over to the sink. I open it up to find green undergarments staring up at me. It took about two and a half months to find it. I had almost forgotten about it. I am pleased to say it took Morgan almost the same span of time to find it next. We still continue to play this game.

Some of you may be confused as to why I chose this story to explain our friendship, but it is very fitting. I am a firm believer in the ancient Chinese proverb, "A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend(s) will be sitting next to you in jail saying, 'Man, that was some f*cked up sh*t." (I'll get to the illegal friendship bonding activities later).

Moral: Be patient with the weirdos you meet (and be okay with the fact that you may be one of them), because weirdos are the best kind of friends.