College Lesson Learned #21

#21- If you ever go speed-dating, don’t be yourself.

Once upon a time, in a magical land called College, there were two knights and two ladies. These four individuals were the best of friends. These four people did everything together when first arriving at College. They ate dinner together as a family, they watched movies together and they even decided to show the bachelors and bachelorettes of the land of College the awesomeness they possess via speed-dating.

Now the two ladies decided to dress as the fairest in the kingdom for this speed-dating event. They dressed to look good and wow all the young available knights of the land of College. However, the two knights, being of a somewhat sinister and sick nature, decided that they would dress and act like the barbaric peasants of the “Shores of Jersey.” These two knights looked the part. They worked out earlier, did their laundry, and were already tan from the rays of summer. They had it all

.

They met the fair ladies in their castle (because that’s where the speed-dating meeting was taking place). Upon walking in, the ladies looking beautiful as always, walked up to the two peasant lookalikes, and said, “What are you wearing?” The chivalrous knights simply smiled and opened up the door for the ladies.

The four walked into one of the great halls to find nobody there, except one of the Lords and one of the Ladies of this castle. They were stewards of the Great RLC. Apparently, nobody wanted to go except the four of us.

Somewhat disappointed, they decided to leave the great hall and go to the Banquet Hall to partake in the evening banquets together as the family they are. They walked in and picked their food and went to sit down and eat. As they were paying for their food, the ladies still in disbelief said, “I can’t believe that you thought that was a good idea, dressing like that. No one of this fair land would flirteth with thee!”

Nodding, one of the great knights (still dressed as a barbaric peasant of the “Shores of Jersey”) walked up to one of the elderly maids and asked, “Peasant, would thee flirteth with me at a pub if I were dressed as such?” In almost too quick of a response, she replied, “OH Yes!!! Of course I would.”

From that day forth the elderly maid of the banquet hall called herself the knight’s “cougar-mama.”

Moral: Modern stories are somewhat funnier and more satirical when told in medieval times.

Real Moral: Never ask an “elderly maid” if she would flirt with you at a bar, because she WILL be honest, and you’ve just opened yourself to nicknames for both you and her. Learn from my past mistakes.