College Lesson Learned #27

#27- Sex questions that guys have for girls can simply be answered by, “It depends on the girl.” The questions that girls have for guys tend to be irrelevant and girls need to lower their expectations.

So I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Phil, you just talked about care packages in your last post, why the heck are you now talking about sex?” Well I have an answer for you and there is a story to go with it. What was meant by “sex questions" are simply anything relating to the relationships between the opposite sex of yours.

So for one of my general education classes I had to go to certain events on or around campus. We went to three a semester and had to write a paper on our event… the usual. So one of the events I chose was “Sex in a Fishbowl.” The name clearly struck chords with many 18 and 19 year olds around campus.

At this event the leaders had us write two questions each and put them into a fishbowl. The questions for girls would be pink and the questions for boys would be blue… original, I know. After everyone submitted the questions, the leaders would then draw a question and either they would answer, it would go up for discussion, or both. 

Well, many of the questions guys asked dealt with relationships or how to go about pursuing someone, or something of that nature. “How can I tell if someone likes me?” or “When is the right time?” were just two of the many questions of a similar nature. Questions like these usually went up for discussion.

When the girls were answering, one girl would say one thing, then another would totally contradict the other, and a third girl’s answer would be another polar opposite. Finally a fourth girl would simply say, “Honestly, every girl is different, it varies. It all depends on the girl.” Thanks for the help. NOT.

The girls' questions were, in my opinion, stupid. They would ask questions like, “Why are guys douchebags?” (because girls LIKE douchebags and don’t figure out that the “good guys” are in the friend zone until they are about 26-32 years of age). One of my favorite questions that a girl asked was “When you ask a guy what they’re thinking and they say nothing, what are they really thinking about?”

Ladies, I was/am so proud of all the guys in that room because no matter how different a guy is from another, the answer to that question and many other questions of that nature is unchanging. All guys are capable of not thinking anything. We are capable of shutting down the thought process. It is how we keep our sanity.

As far as the relationship questions go, I have learned that girls think that guys think much more than we actually do. Girls are super complicated and make no sense. They are almost always irrational. Guys on the other hand are super simple and girls tend to overcomplicate us. Lower your expectations and confront us because we don’t catch onto your “signs.” We need you to tell us everything straight up.

Moral: Guys are stupid and need help. Girls to understand guys, be stupid.